Category Archives: Funny Meanings

Funny Meanings and Definitions.

Abdicate:
To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.


Advice:
What we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we hadn’t.


Age:
A high price to pay for maturity.


Atom Bomb:
An invention to end all inventions.


Bookstore:
One of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.


Boss:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.


Celebrity:
One who is known to many persons he is glad he doesn’t know.


Classic:
A book which people praise, but do not read.


Committee:
Individuals who can do nothing individually, sit to decide that nothing can be done together.


Conclusion:
The place you reach when you’re tired of thinking.


Dictionary:
The only place where divorce comes before marriage.


DIET:
Dare I Eat That.


Diplomacy:
Art of saying, ‘Nice doggie!’… till you can find a rock.


Diplomat:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.


Disappointment:
Receiving no ‘likes’ on a witty status update.


Doctor:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and later kills you with his bills.


Employer:
One who is looking for men between the ages of 25 and 30 with 40 years of experience.


Etc:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.


Experience:
That marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.


Father:
A banker provided by nature.


Fruit:
A vegetable with looks and money.


Girlfriend:
Someone who will stand by you through all the troubles that you wouldn’t have had if you had stayed single.


Greeting card:
When you care enough to send the very best but not enough to actually write something.


Heaven: American salary, British home, Chinese food, German car, Indian wife.
Hell: American wife, British food, Chinese car, German home, Indian salary.


Husband:
What’s left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.


It is in the process:
It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about hopeless.


IT Professional:
One who is paid for uploading such Posts and Articles!


Jury:
Twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.


Life:
What happens when you’re not watching TV.


Marriage:
First chapter in Poetry and remaining in Prose.
A very expensive way to get the laundry done.
It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelors degree and woman gains her masters.


Opera:
When a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.


Opportunist:
One who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.


Peace:
In international affairs, a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.


Pessimist:
Somebody who complains about the noise when opportunity knocks.


Politician:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.


Psychiatrist:
A fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
The next person you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.


Queen:
Someone who is never late. Everyone else is simply early.


Racing:
The art of turning left in a car for 4 hours.


Retirement:
Twice as much husband and half as much money.


Rumour:
News that travels more than the speed of sound.


Savings:
A very fine thing especially when your parents have done it for you.


Smile:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.


Tears:
The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water power.


Test results were extremely gratifying:
We are so surprised that the stupid thing works.


The entire concept will have to be abandoned:
The only person who understood the thing quit.


Ultimatum:
A last demand before resorting to concessions.


Vegetarian:
An old Indian (Native American) word meaning “lousy hunter”.


Woman:
Most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!


X-ray:
An image often used by persons interested in becoming bone models.


Yawn:
It’s the only time when some married men ever get to open their mouth.