Funny Quotes.

Boost is the secret of my energy. Then why are you revealing it to me.

If you can’t convince, CONFUSE.

If you want breakfast in the bed, sleep in the kitchen.

In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar (raised structure).
Since then, weddings have been held here.
And times haven’t changed at all!

My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.

May God give a friend like you to everyone…
Why should I suffer alone?

Love your neighbor, but don’t get caught.

What do I do when I see someone gorgeous, attractive, and cute? I stare, I smile and when I get tired, I put the mirror down.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

Hard work never kills. But why take a chance.

One for all and all for me.

God, if you can’t make me skinny, please make my friends fat.

I’m not antisocial, the society is anti me.

A cigarette shortens your life by 2 minutes.
A beer shortens your life by 4 minutes.
A working day shortens your life by 8 hours.

I am Nobody. Nobody I perfect. So I am perfect.

Three fastest ways of communication:
a) Telephone b) Television c) Tell-a-woman.

DIET means Dare I Eat That.

About the toilet, Men don’t care, They can take a leak anywhere.

I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

I think drinking and driving is terrible. You always spill it when you change gears.