Jokes

Wife: Darling, Today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
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What do you use for washing dishes?
Oh, I tried many things but found my husband the best.
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My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. A cop caught her and asked, ‘Where are you going?’
‘I must be late, everyone is coming back.’
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Teacher: Can anyone give me an example of coincidence?
Sam: Sir, My mom and dad married on the same day and same time.
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Teacher: What is the difference between ‘He committed suicide’ and ‘He had to commit suicide’?
Sam: Sir, First person was unemployed and the second person was a married man.
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After robbing a Bank the robber asked a Clerk: Did you see me robbing?
Clerk: Yes.
He was shot dead.
To 2nd clerk: Did you?
2nd clerk: No, but my wife did.
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Man: What can be the maximum penalty for bigamy?
Friend: At the most, it can be two mothers-in-law.
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Height of confidence?
A 99 year old buying a SIM card with life-time validity.
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What’s the best thing to put into a pizza?
Your teeth.
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Mam to Joe: There’s a frog, ship sank, potatoes at Rs.3/kg. Then, guess my age?
Joe: 32 years.
Mam: How do you know?
Joe: Well, my sister is 16 years old and she’s half mad.
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