Jokes

Girlfriend: What do you like in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?
Boyfriend: I like your sense of humour.
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Short fairy tale: Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl, ‘Will you marry me?’
The girl said ‘No.’ And the guy lived happily ever after.
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Sam, do you pray before eating?
Sam: No, my mom is a good cook.
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Q: What are two reasons why men don’t mind their own business?
A: 1.No mind 2.No business.
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Q: What do you get on rearranging the letters in the word ‘Mother in Law’?
A: ‘Woman Hitler.’
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Teacher: What is the chemical formula for water?
Student: H I J K L M N O!
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Student: Yesterday you said it’s H to O!
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A car skidded. A woman ran over to help the driver but a man rushed in and pushed her aside. ‘Step aside, lady,’ he barked. ‘I’ve taken a course in first-aid!’ The women watched for a few minutes, then tapped him on the shoulder. ‘Pardon me,’ she said. ‘But when you get to the part about calling a doctor, I’m right here.’
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I would love to go out with you, but my favorite ad is coming on TV.
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My cracked mind lets in a lot of light.
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Angry Boss: Have you ever seen an owl?
Employee: (looking down) No Sir…
Boss: Don’t look down. Look at me.
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