Jokes

Man to Lawyer: What are your fees?
Lawyer: Rs.2,500 for 3 questions.
Man: Isn’t it too high?
Lawyer: Yes, it is. What is your third question?
———————————————————————————————————-
Jack: I got married because I was tired of eating out and washing my clothes.
Sam: I got divorced for the same reason.
———————————————————————————————————-
Teacher: Hari, go to the map and find America.
Hari: Here it is!
Teacher: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
Class: Hari!
———————————————————————————————————-
Control to pilot: What is your height and position?
Pilot: I’m five feet eight inches and I’m sitting down.
———————————————————————————————————-
Sign on a beauty parlour window: Don’t whistle at the girl going out from here, she may be your grandmother.
———————————————————————————————————-
Man 1: Whom are you working for?
Man 2: Same people. My wife and 4 kids.
———————————————————————————————————-
Mom, are our neighbors very poor?
Mom: No. Why?
Because they made such a fuss when their baby swallowed a coin.
———————————————————————————————————-
Why does an actor enjoy his work so much?
Because it’s all play.
———————————————————————————————————-
Santa was having the same weird dream every night, so he went to a doctor.
Doctor: What was your dream about?
Santa: I was chased by a vampire and I always come to this door, but I can’t open it. I keep pushing the door and pushing it, but it wouldn’t budge!
Doctor: Does the door have any letters on it?
Santa: It said “Pull”.
———————————————————————————————————-
Son: Dad, how much does it cost to get married?
Dad: I never calculated, I am still paying for it.
———————————————————————————————————-