Jokes

Teacher: From where to where did the Mughal’s rule?
Student: Sir from page 15 to 26.
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Teacher: Write an essay on cricket match.
Jim: Rains! No match!
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Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia?
The mafia wants either your money or life. The wives want both!
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Why Indian Law doesn’t permit a Man to marry a 2nd wife?
Because as per law, one can’t be punished twice for the same offense.
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Woman: “Tell me, Sonali, how do you like school?”
Sonali: “Closed.”
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Q: What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A: About 45 kilos.
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“I can read women like a book.”
“What system do you use?”
“Braille.”
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Jack is warned by a mate of his that the girl he is about to marry is no good.
“There’s not a man in the village she hasn’t gone wrong with!”
“Ah well,” says Jack. “It’s only a small village.”
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A man said to a lady friend, “You know, drinking makes you look really beautiful.”
She blushed with pleasure as she replied, “But I haven’t been drinking.”
“I know. But I have.”
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A couple had a week’s holiday at a seaside hotel. They had had a pleasant time but were horrified when their bill came to $200.
“What’s this for?” asked the husband.
The receptionist replied, “$100 for the room and $100 for the food.”
“But we ate out all the time!”
“That’s not my fault, the food was there for you.”
The husband picked up the suitcases and started for the door.
“Oi!” yelled the clerk, “what about the $200?”
“We’re quits, you owe me $200 for the use of my wife.”
“But I never touched her!”
“She was available for you,” said the husband as the couple walked through the door.
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