Jokes

An old lady offers a handful of peanuts to a bus driver, which he munched joyfully. After some time, she again hands him some peanuts. She repeats this gesture about eight times. The driver asks her, “Why don’t you eat it?” She says, “I can’t chew them.” “Why do you buy them, then?” he asks puzzled. The old lady replies, “I just love the chocolate around them.”
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Waiter: Would you like your coffee black, sir?
Customer: What other colors do you have on the menu?
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Teacher: Why are you late, Ajay?
Ajay: Because of a sign down the road.
Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late?
Ajay: The sign said, “School Ahead, Go Slow!”
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A husband and wife were chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up. “Oh, we’ll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship,” the wife explained. “He was a communications major in college, and I majored in theatre arts. He communicates really well, and I just act as if I’m listening.”
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A real estate salesman had just finalized his first deal, only to discover that the piece of land he had sold was completely under water. “That customer’s going to come back here pretty mad,” he said to his boss. “Should I give him his money back?” “Money back?” roared the boss. “What kind of salesman are you? Go and sell him a houseboat.”
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A: “Excuse me, Do you know the way to the zoo?”
B: “No, I’m sorry I don’t.”
A: “Well, it’s two blocks this way, then one block to the left.”
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Diner: Watch out! Your thumb is in my soup!
Waiter: Don’t worry, Sir, it’s not that hot!
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Boyfriend: I had gone to your home. I don’t think we’ll be able to marry.
Girlfriend: Why? Did you meet my dad?
Boyfriend: No. I met your sister.
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Veeru: Jay, I need some money as I’ve forgotten my purse home.
Jay: No problem friend. Take this 5 rupee note. Take a rickshaw to your home and get your purse.
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Teacher to a 5 year old: What does your father do?
Girl: Whatever my Mom tells him to do.
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