Jokes

Father to son after exam: Let me see your report card.
Son: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.
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Q: Do you know why women live longer, healthier, happier?
A: Because they don’t have wives.
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A polite boss firing his secretary: “Miss Symthe, I really don’t know how we’re going to get along without you, but starting tomorrow, we’re going to try.”
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Man to friend: My wife doesn’t know what she wants.
Friend: You’re lucky. Mine does.
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1st thief: Oh! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief: But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief: Hurry! This is not the time for superstitions.
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Joe: We’ll soon become rich.
Jill: How?
Joe: Tomorrow my Maths teacher will teach me how to convert paise into rupees.
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Tourist: Any great man born here?
Santa: No sir, only babies.
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The height of mixed emotion?
When your mother-in-law falls from 7th floor on your new Mercedes.
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Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.
The teacher said, “Why are you arguing?”
One boy said, “We found a Rs 100 note and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.”
“You should be ashamed of yourselves,” said the teacher, “When I was your age I didn’t even know what a lie was.”
The boys gave the Rs 100 note to the teacher.
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A guy says to his friend, “Guess how many coins I have in my pocket.” The friend says, “If I guess right, will you give me one of them?” The first guy says, “If you guess right, I’ll give you both of them!”
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